Because Of You
by Shyma Tavrott Lupin
Summary: I am hurt. I am hurt and lonely master. I Obi-Wan Kenobi am cold, hurt, and alone Because Of You My Master. Non-Slash,Songfic with the song Because Of You by Kelly Clarkson


I will not make the same mistakes that you did

**Disclaimer****: I do not own Star Wars, George Lucas does. **

**Author's Note: I believe this song really reflects what happened to Obi-Wan so please enjoy. Read and Review and The Force Shall Be With You**

_**I will not make the same mistakes that you did**_

_I would always told myself that, master_

_**  
I will not let myself  
Cause my heart so much misery**_

_When Anakin first became my apprentice, I would always tell myself that._

_**  
I will not break the way you did,  
You fell so hard**_

_You did master, you fell so hard after the turning of your second padawan_

_**  
I've learned the hard way  
To never let it get that far**_

_Or so I thought master….or so I thought_  
_**  
Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk**_

_You always kept me in line. You made sure I would never face the same fate as your last apprentice_

_**  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt**_

_**  
**__You never let me get too far out of your sight. You always kept a watchful eye over me_

_**Because of you  
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me**_

_But master after you left me……….it was like my whole world was turned upside down. Suddenly nothing mattered anymore. Especially not Anakin. And all too soon I found myself looking far too much like you, master_

_**  
Because of you  
I am afraid**_

_Because you forced all those responsibilities on me, master__****_

I lose my way  
And it's not too long before you point it out

_I worked so hard to get it that way master_

_  
__**I cannot cry  
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes**_

_All those years I worked so hard to make us close. And then master, you threw me out. But master did you even bother to think how it would make me feel? How much it would make me want to cry? Of coarse I could not because you announced you wish me to be knighted._

_**  
I'm forced to fake  
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life**_

_I do it for Anakin's sake, master. I do it so he cannot see the cold, lonely man that you turned me into_

_**And now  
My heart can't possibly break  
When it wasn't even whole to start with**_

_Now I realize that maybe, master….I did not hold as much in your life that I thought I did. Maybe after Xanatos….you really didn't trust me as much I thought you did. I realize because you abandoned me and pushed me into a cold hard unforgiving world far too soon.  
__**  
Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk**_

_You kept me safe, you made me soft master_

_**  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt**_

_Maybe master, you kept me from getting hurt because you didn't want to face the pain of another turning apprentice_

_**  
Because of you  
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me**_

_What if someone else decides to take advantage of me master? Just like you did?_

_**  
Because of you  
I am afraid**_

_I can't bear that ever happening again can I master? No I can't. __****_

I watched you die

_My heart shattered into a million pieces when I saw you laying there master_

_**  
I heard you cry every night in your sleep**_

_And when I sat there on the titanium floor, crying into you chest I remembered all that you've ever done to me. The words you said to me. The last few words you said to me. It hurt master. It hurt like betrayal. It hurt more than it did when I was young. When you first took me in. The way it hurt when I heard you cry every night in your sleep because of your turned apprentice._

_**  
I was so young  
You should have known better than to lean on me**_

_You really should have known better master. Of coarse you didn't. That's why you thought I was ready for all those responsibilities_

_**  
You never thought of anyone else  
You just saw your pain**_

_Is that why you where so stubborn master? Is that why you would always defy everyone and do what you thought was right? Because all you wanted to do was keep away the pain? The pain that was scarred into your soul when your Padawan had turned?_

_**  
And now I cry in the middle of the night  
For the same damn thing**_

_That's right.____Every single night I cry because your beloved Anakin Skywalker……. Has turned__****_

Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk

_I looked over him just like you looked over me_

_**  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt**_

_I kept him safe like you kept me safe_

_**  
Because of you  
I try my hardest just to forget everything**_

_But what did he give me for it master? What did I gain from fulfilling my father figure's dying wish? Pain. Unbelievable, Unforgettable Pain_

_**  
Because of you  
I don't know how to let anyone else in**_

_Now there is no one for me master. Now I lay here in some run down hut in the planet that ruined my life. I am in exile on the damned planet of Tattoine. Crying in my sleep_

_**  
Because of you  
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty**_

_My life is indeed empty. Everything, and I mean everything I ever lived for has been taken from me master. Everything. _

_**  
Because of you  
I am afraid**_

_Yes, Because Of You My Master, _

_Because Of You Qui-Gon Jinn, I Am Afraid  
Because Of You_

_**fin**_

**Thank you so much for reading. The story line of this I was told is slightly confusing. So if you're confused let me explain it to you. This takes place a few days into Obi-Wan's exile to Tattoine. He has yet to meet Qui-Gon again and starts to think about how he ended up in this mess. He comes to the conclusion that it was all Qui-Gon's fault. That Qui-Gon couldn't let go of Xanatos and reflected that on him. Just wanted to make that clear. Again thanks for reading and please don't forget to review!!**_**  
**_


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